Buried or Planted?

Dull. Boring. Lonely. Repetitive. Tedious. These are just some words to describe how I was feeling about life throughout the week. It's become easier to settle into routine and the various motions going on throughout the day. I wake up, I head over to my boss's house to sort out a plan for the day, clean the house, pick up the children from school, do an after-school activity, occasionally cook them dinner, then I am normally finished by 5pm. 

But why do I feel like I am not making a difference? Why do I feel like I am not making an impact on the kids I look after? Why am I not striving more towards more of my goals in life? Why does it feel like I have lost motivation and passion in the things I used to love? Why do I feel like some of my prayers aren't being heard? Why am I feeling this way? These questions often play through the back of my mind whenever I am alone. It's not easy. I often feel lost. Unsure of why I'm here, doing what I am doing. Don't get me wrong, I love it up here, but it's the times when I am alone that these doubts and fears creep into my head. It can be easy to give up when the going gets tough and you feel like you've been buried. Hidden away, where no one can see you. 

However, God knows how I am feeling, and He sends the right people with the right encouragement just when you need it. It's funny how that happens, isn't it? A friend of mine encouraged me, that "sometimes it feels like you've been buried, when really you have been planted." When you plant a seed, you set it in a particular place with the right conditions, so it can grow. Right now, this is what I feel God is doing for me. He's brought me here for a reason. It's very hard to see the big picture at the moment. However we heard in church today (another way God used someone to share encouragement with me) that "the situation you are in is an opportunity to show the difference that Jesus makes in your life." So the way I see it, is that I have a choice. I could choose to blame God for all the negative thoughts and feelings I have, and just continue through life moping about. Or I could thank Him for this time of growth, for having an opportunity to impact the people around me, and to bloom where I've been planted. 

These are just a few scrambled thoughts I've had throughout today that I thought I would share with you. 

Hope you have a good week :)

Esther x